Innie or Outtie? .... You decide....

Right you guys time to sort an argument in the Ivey household.

Is this an innie or an outtie?

I'm starting to think he might have the best of both.... a nice and tidy Innie with a hint of outtie but not enough of one to harvest elephant grey fluff (Why is it always that colour?? We'll save that question for another time!)

Mum and Alfie's Morning Nap...

One month on...

As May draws to an end we inevitably think back over everything that happened and thankfully didn't. It has certainly been a tough start for Alfie and for us as parents... nearly two weeks in hospital before we even considered a life of looking after a newborn. We've quickly realised that visiting friends and seeing their babies sleeping silently in the corner of the room didn't quite paint the fullest of pictures! (Why didn't someone warn us - only joking!)

Alfie is now into his forth week and going from strength to strength. While we never want to forget what he's been through we also know that it's important to look at the brightest of futures he has earned for himself. One day he will look at this blog and see what he has already achieved. Beth and I have been talking about memories etc while trying to record Alfie's life in his beautiful baby book. It seems he doesn't quite fit the mould already (would you expect anything else from Beth and I??) We were trying to work out which bits of his story go on which page!

In an attempt to draw a final line under everything and truly look forward I wanted to create a simple little film and dedicate it to Alfie and to you guys for all your unending support, kindness and generosity. We have been touched by all the cards and gifts that have arrived by the sack load. In some ways it has made us feel that little bit further away from you all, but at the same time so much closer. I hope that makes sense?? We will be sending out birth announcement/thank you cards by the dozen in the next couple of weeks...

We would also like to dedicate it to the staff at the John Hunter Hospital here in Newcastle, Australia. We honestly believe that they are the only hospital in Australia equipped to give Alfie the fighting chance that he took with both hands (babies are flown from all over Australia to be cared for here!) ... luckily we live just minutes away. There are some truly amazing people doing amazing things in the Neonatal Unit, we feel that we never knew many of their names but each will have had a lasting impact on Alfie's life. Alfie thanks them in his baby book, we thank them with this film.



NB: The music in the clip is wires by Athlete. It has long been a favourite of mine but has taken on an even greater significance over the last four weeks. Its amazing how music has the power to express things perfectly in a given time and space.

I went for a lower quality version of the film so that your broadband connections can have a fighting chance...

Belly Button Update...

I can now confirm that the belly button posted as an "outtie" in the last post has now become an "innie" in the cold light of day; much to Beth's delight who is marching around the house chanting "innie, innie, innie!" How immature! ;0)

Working out at the gym...

Alfie continues to do well in his fourth week of dealing with Beth and I as parents. At the moment he lurches between a fun loving, smiling, sleeping little fellow who we coo over and a screaming, scritching little creature for who nothing we do for him seems to help! Thankfully he reserves his best behaviour for night time O'clock and the daytime for the witching hours!

Mind you he has had a couple of rough days, watching daddy try to play football on Saturday (enough to reduce anyone to tears!) while Sunday saw his belly button fall off.... would have me worried too! We think it might be an outtie!... that's my boy! On the being upset front we think it might be Colic (generic term for a baby that cries a little more than "normal" babies!!! Getting really fed up with baby books and websites that are of no use at all. I could write my own baby book on pregnancy and babies (think I might!!!), Chapter One: planning your baby's birth... Don't bother. Straight on to Chapter two then: Caring for your baby. This chapter will need a little more thought but will be based around the theory that no babies are normal, all are different! No matter what concern you may have there is always an answer and about twenty possible others. Looking at possible foods that Beth should avoid to help ease the undiagnosed Colic it's looking like she'll loose even more weight, I think only bread and water is left! She looks fantastic by the way, you would never believe that she had a baby four weeks ago!



Here's a look at Alfie working out at the gym in one of his brighter moments today .... atttishoooo ....... attishoooooo ..... ain't he the cutest!

Been wondering who Alfie looks like?

I've sorted it!

Winston Churchill or Alfie Jack? Uncanny isn't it! :0)

Rear view mirror...

Alfie's life as a child of two primary school teaching parents is going to be a tough one... although we'll try not to be pushy! We have been doing a bit of reading about how to stimulate the little fella, simply because we don't know what we should be doing with him! I liked one website which Beth found which said that we are the best toy he has at the moment!!! ... and boy is he having fun with us mainly at night!

I guess that as we are monitoring his progress from this point forward to identify any signs of damage caused by his ordeal (we're not expecting any!) we are that bit more interested in developmental milestones and keen to do anything we can to help him along! At the moment he has a mirror in his cot and has noticed himself a couple of times, he will become more aware of himself this month and faces this month (so we're told!) He seems well aware of his own face as he tries to remove it with his hands when he gets distressed and says "I'm hungry," "I'm tired," "I'm really tired," "I've had an accident downstairs!" and "I'm... I'm not sure what I am I'm just crying!" ;0)

Babies, babies, babies...

Proof that there was something in the water here in Australia at the same time as in England when Alfie was concieved we today spent time with the Newcastle baby boomers, ... all boys strangely! Today Alfie caught up with his friends Elliott, Ben and Jet, all were well behaved concentrating on feeding, sleeping and matters of the nappy to be too concerned what each other was doing! Although I'm sure that they will become as good friends in the future as we have with Kate and Matt and Brett and Kel. It was great to get out and share some experiences and anxieties and gain reasurrance that they are struggling (struggled ... they are a good month older, longer, wider and heavier than Alfie!)with the same things. One thing that did strike me was how quickly babies grow, it certainly made me realise how important it will be to take time to enjoy Alfie at each and every stage of his life (and blog it!) because as quick as a flash the moment can pass and they're on to the next stage.

I know that Beth is keen to get into the mother and baby social scene... for me well its a case of getting focused back on work... after all there are now three hungry mouths to feed!

Start them early....

On the weekend of the worst FA cup final in living memory (I fell asleep during extra time.. but it was 3am, Alfie slept through most of it!) I decided to show him how it should be done when he came along to watch daddy play. Although judging by the photo he wasn't that impressed and soon dosed off again!)

Playing into the eye of a hurricane we managed to limit the other team to four goals in the first half and managed to get three back in the second half, 4-3 a close call! It was closer than some of the other games this season (three of which I've missed I might add!) with 10-0, 7-1 and 3-1 losses and a 3-1 win (which I also missed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) There are encouraging signs however that we are starting to get it together as this weeks opponents were top of the league and confident after their 16-1 victory the previous week against our next opponents! I'm sure that next week I'll be able to update you with details of an easy win! :0)

Alfie's training also includes some ball skills with his first ever football and growing so that he can wear his England kit and Adidas trainers (just some of the gifts that are keeping the postman very busy on his rounds!) We continue to be amazed with the cards, emails and gifts we have receive, I think he has touched more than our hearts!

Birthday Boys...

Alfie celebrated two weeks in the world with me as I celebrated thirty three years with a trip down to the water front. Beth and I joined the other legions of stroller pushers to take in some Autumn sunshine, good food and a drink or two.

Sixty Seconds ....

I'm amazed at the number of facial expressions Alfie(and I guess babies in general!) can make in just one short minute! I've read that babies don't smile until about four weeks or so.. but I'm convinced that he's cracked the odd smile, most often at the point he falls asleep!

Hard life being a baby...

Beth and I had our best nights sleep as Alfie settles nicely into his new life at home and we settle into our new lives as parents. We're learning quickly and adapting to survive. I can now rock his crib without him spotting me with the use of a ribbon tied to one side salvaged from one of the many gifts that have been arriving through the post each day.

He seems much more settled and is showing signs of an awareness of day and night... better go it's bathtime.... we're both still on cloud 10!

Bath Time...

Following the work of our mentors over the past two years (Lou & Lloyd, Mel & Gary) we have decided to make bathtime part of evening routine! Again this simple event is planned in fine detail and needs two of us to run smoothly. Until this point we've bathed before feeds, although this evening after complaints from Alfie he had his fill before bathtime and so sat back, relaxed and enjoyed it!

We would like to point out that now it only takes one of us to change a nappy or dress our child.... how about that for progress!

Operation Picnic

We launched our first outside military planned operation over the weekend with a mothers day picnic. The car was packed with everything we could possibly need in the next two hours as well as the stroller which we were able to set up and collapse without too much hassle. He was well behaved sleeping most of the time and allowing mum and dad time to eat something.

Tiring Business this parenting lark!

Pictures say it all, we've been losing sleep! I would like to issue a formal appology to my parents for the sleepless nights and worry I inadvertently caused them.

... however the fact that I'm updating the blog tonight is proof that maybe just maybe things are settling down!

Australian Mothers Day

At the weekend Beth celebrated her first Australian mothers day - her first in Australia, her first as a mother! Alfie bought mum a comfy chair for mothers day in the hope that she will want to spend more time sitting in it feeding him!!! Beth and Alfie got to work in the chair and went on a picnic between feeds.

Beth is proving to be an amazing mum (I never doubted it!) having dealt so well with her own ordeal she has thrown herself into doing everything she can for Alfie, despite the advanced stages of sleep deprivation. I honestly believe that if it wasn't for her strength during labour we wouldn't have Alfie today.

The Greatest Story Ever Told…

While in hospital I managed to scribe some things down and brown paper bags, mainly so that we could remember things, the whole thing was becoming a blur. As I was staying in the room with Beth I also used my notes to record medical stuff about Beth… it seems wearing the scrubs had a lasting impact on me!

We wanted to record all this stuff as much for us as anything else (the blog has become a really useful record of our move to Australia… we often take a look back at the archives!) it makes a great story with a thankfully happy ending. If you enjoy it that’s great if not just take a peek at the pictures! I’ve posted in reverse order so that all you need to do is scroll down.

A week in the life… Part 1: Friday 4th 2007

We woke on Friday morning on the 1st floor with our baby on the 3rd, it just wasn’t meant to be like this, all the while we were surrounded by the sights and sounds of how things were meant to be. We were able to see Alfie as often as we liked, 24 hours a day, unless there were clinical procedures taking place. If any of the babies in the unit needed an injection the whole unit would be shut down, frustrating but necessary to protect all the babies.

Jean and John and Sharron came to visit and get their first visit with Alfie. Beth wasn’t given that much time to recover, still attached to a drip and bag, she was encouraged to express milk into small cups so that it could be frozen for Alfie. This was pretty hard going as the natural hormones that stimulate milk production when you get hands on your baby weren’t there! Beth would look at pictures of Alfie as she expressed as it was thought that this might help. I had to get so close to Beth’s nipples that my eyes could hardly focus on them, we felt that every drip was vital. At this point Alfie was fed via a drip through his belly button; a second tube in the same place was used to take regular blood samples. I noticed that these tiny tubes had “Argyle” written on them… what are the chances of that! We were given the good news that the brain scan machine wasn’t showing anything of concern and his observer (he would be watched 24-7) said that she hadn’t seen him have any fits or seizures, key factors in determining the effects of oxygen starvation.

Later that day now that Beth had been disconnected from one wire we left the room, again with Beth in the wheelchair, to go and have coffee with Matt and Sharron. Beth kept up her sprits by hiding away from me behind a corner while I went into the toilet! Knowing Beth’s strength it wouldn’t have jumped out and walked off like the Little Britain Character.

A week in the life… Part 2: Saturday 5th 2007

After another long night expressing milk and visiting Alfie we eventually got up at 10:30am… At least something in our lives had stayed the same! Alfie was cold and hungry, it was great to see him wanting some warm milk so badly but he would have to stay off it and on the drip until Sunday night! The cooling procedure was going well and would eventually prove to be beneficial. Cooling is used on adults undergoing brain operations as the coolness lowers the potential for damage, it’s a little like someone drowning in very cold water and being resuscitated without damage… the cold causes the body to hibernate switching off the bodies ability to shut down its natural instinct to attack damaged tissues. His condition had remained stable, but then it was already as good as it could be! We were delighted when we were asked if they could give him a dummy to keep him quiet! We also took strength from the fact that he removed his own airway tube after being resuscitated!

Beth was given her final Anti D injection so that any future pregnancy (!!!!!) will be a safe one; although Beth is negative Alfie is Rhesus Positive like me. We went up to see Alfie in the evening his last one on ice. He seemed very settled and his condition was stable. The condition stable thing became a worry over time, because he made so much progress so quickly he was already as good as he was going to be. As concerned parents there was always the feeling and concern that he couldn’t get any better … only worse. This started to play on our minds. It was also interesting to note that Beth was very much the positive strong one of us, with me being down; we went through a role reversal over the coming days… with Beth starting to feel that he might not pull through.

A week in the life… Part 3: Sunday 6th 2007

Saturday became Sunday after another sleepless night (good preparation!!!) It amazed us the dedication of the staff in the intensive care unit, we were always welcomed with a smile and a “Hi I’m _____ and I’m looking after Alfie today.” There are over 140 amazing people working in there. They had already saved his life by getting to the operating theatre within seconds to resuscitate him; they were now there day and night helping him to recover. Louise, Lucy and Libby all deserve a special mention.

I put in my sandwich order in with Jean, only Beth was getting the hospital food! (Interesting now I’m back at home clothes that didn’t fit before now fit perfectly!) Brett and Kel came to visit, as did John and Matt, between Beth’s breast pump experiences. It was my role to wash all the “apparatus” and operate the machine. I would often knock the dial up another notch while Beth wasn’t looking!

Back up on the third floor Alfie was now pinking up nicely! With the ice now removed he was slowly warming just 3 degrees over eleven hours. He seemed so calm and wide awake with eyes wide open. He looked deep into my eyes and me into his… a magical moment!

A week in the life… Part 4: Monday 7th 2007

We dashed back up to see Alfie early. The lid of his incubator was down and he was pinker than ever, he seemed very calm now free from the constant shivers of the previous three days. Beth’s recovery also continued at pace with Beth now standing at the door of our room waiting for the breakfast lady.

We spent the rest of the day deciding what to dress him in as today was the day we could dress and cuddle Alfie. It was hard choosing this first outfit, mainly due to the fact that most of what we had just wouldn’t fit him!

Meanwhile more flowers arrived and visitors in the shape of Dr. Bisits and student Dr. Carina. Carina was doing some work experience in the birthing centre and got swept along in the drama of the whole thing. She was a great source of support and great to have here there, Beth swears by her back rub during labour! She came to see Alfie everyday after his birth and also took the time to visit us too! It was great that she saw all three of us together before we left hospital. We swapped contact details so I’m sure that we’ll all stay in touch… we all feel like we’ve known each other for ages!

During the afternoon we were both able to cuddle Alfie taking care not to disturb any of his leads he was still wearing, they were to be removed later. Beth was able to feed him and he took his first few gulps of milk from his mum, still feeling quite full from all the fluids he was given he didn’t take much and so a tube was inserted up his nose to his stomach. It was hard to watch this as a syringe was filled and emptied into him.

Later that evening we returned to feed Alfie again (we were now doing the feeds every three or four hours!) and he took a full feed and so the tube was removed, it was also nice to see more and more of the wires removed at each visit. The cuddles become more frequent and less restrictive. To see his contented face and hear his snores from his bassinet was amazing!

A week in the life… Part 5: Tuesday 8th 2007

We continued the feeds through the early hours of the morning, and throughout the morning. Still in Level three of intensive care we were stunned when we were told that we were able to wheel him out of there… today! No level two…. Straight to our room for what is called “rooming in!” It was amazing and scary at the same time we sat there in our room looking at this little miracle and turned to each other and said “What do we do?”

Our first nappy experience was an interesting one, with sounds coming from the nappy we worked together (it took two of us!) to remove the slightly soiled nappy! As we did Alfie went for the second stage of his waste disposal, weeing all over his head at the same time!

We had promised never to moan about lack of sleep or sore nipples (Beth!) now that he was out of the woods, this was put to the test during the night as we got two hours sleep. We got our sleep after he was “sin binned” for “arking” up and placed in the care of the excellent midwives.

A week in the life… Part 6: Wednesday 9th 2007

Still reeling from our apparently normal sleep deprived parenting experience we took Alfie for his hearing test and it was no great surprise after the events of the previous week that he failed. Wearing a set of groovy headphones he had some sounds piped through his response to which was measured on sensors on his back, neck and head. I watched nervously as little blocks appeared on a line like those that you see as an internet page loads. He did well on one ear while the other only reached 75% loaded! This was obviously a concern but he would later pass on both ears. It did raise the concern that with Alfie now fully recovered the potential damage caused by his lack of oxygen may not be visible. We would get more news on that as the week progressed.

We went back to the special care unit to see how well he had been breaking down Beth’s milk with a blood test via a prick to his heel. We were also able to give him his first bath… we hope it will be something he will come to love! During the afternoon Alfie had some lovely daddy cuddles and slept two hours between some feeds. By this point we had worked out that even though you have passed out from drinking too much you soon come around and can have a few more – something I learnt for myself a long time ago.

A week in the life… Part 7: Thursday 10th 2007

After another disturbed nights sleep (by this I mean awake from about 3am rather than not getting the 8 hours I’m used to!) Alfie proved that he has no excuses as far as hearing what mum and dad ask him to do after passing his hearing test! Alfie had a long day with an MRI scan and further brain monitoring. The MRI scan was an amazing thing… he was placed inside the tunnel wearing his ear muffs as we sat anxiously wearing ours. As the door closed the machine whirred into action, the noise soon became deafening to the point that Beth and I held our muffs even closer. The whole thing took 10 minutes, Alfie slept throughout.

We then left him back in SCBU for four hours. During this time we felt completely lost; having had him around for two days we were surprised how much we missed him! More surprising was that without Alfie around Beth was in a lot of pain, apparently brought on by feelings of separation from her baby! The results from his scans were very positive. His MRI brain scan showed that all parts of the brain were active and that there had been no bleeding. A further test of his reflexes and joints suggested that he was in every way an ordinary baby… with an extraordinary story to tell.

We feel so lucky to have him, our little miracle… we also felt for those who were not or might not be so fortunate each with their own lives and families affected. A couple who also had a baby in similar circumstances that has been given two weeks to live, the only difference between Alfie and her being four short minutes. We have also found out that the hospital give up resuscitation after ten minutes, Alfie got in with 120 seconds to spare. There will always be someone somewhere going through what we went through and worse… at the moment there is a baby in the John Hunter lying in an incubator, released into the world months before its due date of the 27th August. It is a testament to the work of the staff in the unit that any survive, we will be forever grateful.

A week in the life… Part 8: Friday 11th 2007

Friday saw me dashing to get a car seat fitted while Beth went to a bathing talk before we met up to listen to a baby CPR talk. It then took me three trips through the hospital to the car with all the things we had asked people to bring in for us to make our stay more comfortable before carrying our most precious cargo. He seemed to enjoy his first trip in the car and then he was home…

We’d like to think that life will be a little less eventful from now on but are sure that this is the start of something really special.

The End…… and a beautiful beginning.

Home Sweet Home...

Just a very quick post to let you know that we are all back at home and trying to settle into a life as normal as it's going to be with the new man in the house. I'll update with more details soon and lots and lots pictures... think we might become quite the new parents with baby pictures bores!

The hospital are delighted with Alfie's progress and remarkable recovery, it far exceeds our best hopes and those of the doctors. All the tests suggest that he will suffer no long term effects from his ordeal which is truly amazing.

All three of us would like to thank you for all your best wishes, thoughts and prayers over the last ten days, we ended up with over forty pages emails which gave us great comfort and strength. Thanks to you all... xxxx

Alfie Jack Progress

I've just posted this very quickly while I'm at home collecting stuff to take to hospital, the full story of this amazing journey with the happy ending will follow later. It feels like a miracle!

The long and the short of it is that Alfie has made really good progress since coming off the "cooling" trial which had him shivering and living in a hibernation state. Once slowly warmed he became pinker and pinker to become the breast feeding baby we see today. He now has fewer leads and has a cot rather than an incubator. We're hoping the he will be downgraded to level two intensive care very soon... and then spend some time with us on the ward... before coming home (which we can wait for!)

He has more tests on Thursday 10am which are part of the ice trial before don't have a better idea of time scales than that. Each day at a time....

... thanks so much for all messages of love and support. They are all so very much appreciated and give us tremendous strength.

Better go I've got a baby to bath!
xxx

Mornin Alfie.. Mornin Mum...

Just nipped home to get some stuff and update the blog for you guys. I went to see Alfie this morning and heard that he'd had a really good night, in fact he was still asleep. He continues to progress and do the things that "normal" babies do. As he stopped breathing he is being monitored for the effects of oxygen starvation (nothing causes concern yet!) as there is a risk of brain damage. The hospital are running a research program into the effects of "cooling" on preventing or lessening damage after an "assult" (their term not ours!) ... it works for adults apparently... so we've signed him up and luckily he was placed in the "Cooling Group" rather than the do nothing out of the ordinary "Control Group." He'll now spend 3 days chilling out at 33 degrees.

Mum had a good nights sleep ... as did I on a matress on the floor... at the hospital . She is very sore this morning and continues to have a fluid drip and other wires attached... other than that she is a very positive and proud parent.

(I'm back at the hospital now... I'll update with any news as it happens...)

Alfie Jack... the little fighter

If yesterday is anything to go by we have learnt two important things nothing in life seems to quite turn out like you want it to and birthing plans aren't worth the paper they are written on.

Beth's waters broke at home on Wednesday (this was a trickle... the Tsunami flood came later!) We went into hospital expecting to be sent home again. However labour was in motion and Beth soon settled into a nice pattern of contractions refusing gas and air. As the afternoon became night and Beth became more and more pickled (she was in the bath!) delivery seemed only moments away, there was lots of activity people running here and there... 15 hours later Beth was still pushing. This was the most heart breaking 15 hours of my life watching Beth go through it, I can only guess what it must have been like for her. I had to beg her to get some pain relief, she really is one in a million.

Come Thursday afternoon and after more pushes Alfie started to show signs of distress and so we were rushed to what we thought would be a routine Cesar section. They wanted to try a normal birth more more time so they used forceps to ease him out. It was during this that Alfie stopped breathing. After delivery a lifeless Alfie was rushed to the side and resuscitated, while he had a strong heartbeat throughout he did not take his first breath until 8 Min's after birth. He was then rushed to intensive care where he was ventilated.

We then went back to the ward so that Beth could recover, she had really been through it. As the evening progressed we started to learn of Alfie's recovery and were soon taken to the SCBU unit to see him. He had recovered nicely and was breathing well for himself.

Although it is very early days at the moment, (the next 48 hours are fairly critical) the signs are very promising. What a fighter ... and at 9lb 10oz he's certainly in the heavy weight division!

I'm not a particularly religious person but pray, hope, keep your fingers crossed do what ever you have to do....

Due Date +7

Spent four hours at the Hospital this morning for routine appointment.... now on way back to Hospital with blue lights on the top of our car! Keep watching.... :0)

Due Date +6

Arggghhhh we're sooooo ready for this baby to the point that I have to redecorate the Nursery on Wednesday, with green and yellow paint! Still hospital in the morning and so hopefully some news at least!

While we've been waiting we've tried out some of the old wives tales that you've been sending, hence the curry, foot massage, pineapple eating and other things not suitable to post pictures of on a family site. After our scientific tests we conclude that none of these things work! We'll try anything... although we can't manage a suggestion of "jump off the fourth step!" (not the third or the fifth - it was very specific!) as we don't have steps! :0)